I have a Google alert for “Fort Smith.” When the headline popped up, “Anna’s new crib,” I kinda thought it might be a new blog or sumthin. But when I clicked through to the AOL Entertainment portal TMZ, the photo of Anna Nicole Smith and the accompanying headline “Anna’s New Crib – Welcome to Fort Smith,” my heart sank. I couldn’t IMAGINE why we’d be attracting such a, well, a “n’er do well” as that.

Thank goodness the “Fort Smith” is a headline writer’s attempt to be clever — Fort Anna Nicole Smith. Apparently she has a rather palatial place in the Bahamas. The new digs, though, are spartan compared to the pad Smith has been stayin’ at. Seems her former boyfriend evicted her. ihatethat…

But that’s waaaaay more than I wanted to ever spend time here on Anna Nicole Smith’s place.